Kuchiguse (koo-chee-GOO-say)

This is a Japanese word that translates loosely to mean, "stuff you say a lot." At work we're trying to train our staff to use more professional language in front of guests (no slang, filler words, or phrase fragments) and every time we train, I have a hard time even opening my mouth. Do you realize how many phrase fragments I use a day? Like a million! And just reading over my last post, I realized that "you guessed it" should also be added to my list of kuchiguses. I say "um," and "you know," and "right" CONSTANTLY!

So, I'm making a list. This is stuff I say all the time:

• Hey / Hi
• Yeah
• Mm-hmm
• Bu-bye
• stuff
• like
• cool/totally/awesome/dude
• dang / dang it
• oh man
  
• uh-huh
• sure
• you bet
• gotta
• goin' / doin'
  
• you guys
• prawly (instead of probably)
  

One thing that this exercise has taught me is that some slang I use is regional (you guys, sure, you bet is Midwestern, like/awesome/dude is West Coast (I blame Emily and Ang), and dang is west - Utah! - at least I don't say "oh my heck.") But regardless, especially since most of my job is public speaking in a training capacity, I'm going to have to trim some of it from my vocabulary. If I talk to you in real life, please help me stop the insanity, and point it out when I say things that are slang. I promise not to get mad. For real! (I guess I should add that to the list too ... :()

What are some of your kuchiguses? Am I alone in this?

Strike Out!

"Hey, let's go bowling!" I know it sounds like an innocent suggestion but this never fails to evoke a silent groan in my head every time. In a small town, there normally aren't many things to do ... but there always seems to be at least one bowling alley, so I've come to terms with the fact that I will bowl. I don't like being the wet blanket. And Joel really likes bowling and is pretty good, so we go sometimes. Here's proof:

But I'm horrible at bowling. I mean, really, really, really horrible.

Case in point: A few weeks ago my department at work decides to do an off-site team-building exercise at - you guessed it - the bowling alley. While at least two of my co-workers have bowled in a league, most were average bowlers - some hadn't bowled for more than a decade. So, I didn't feel like I'd be in bad company. I was wrong.

Halfway through our first game I hit a rut. Or should I say gutter. Because that's all I hit for 6 frames in a row. Nothing but gutter. I don't know how many of you know this about me, but I can get fairly competitive with myself, and I don't like doing anything in front of people that I'm not good at. This is a big reason why I was never on any sports teams - little inclination and lots of exposure. So, imagine my dismay when on my third gutter frame I look at the scoreboards and realize who is in last place out of 20 people. You guessed it. Then I started trying really hard. I took pointers from every last person in my department. I tried laughing, shrugging, cheering, and finally screaming at the ball. Then, people could tell I was really getting bothered, and that's when the awkwardness starts. How do you say something positive to someone how hasn't put a single pin down in over 5 frames?

My final score was 29. Yup, 29! We played another game where I achieved a personal best of 84, but I was really ready to pack it in after the first game. Team-building, my foot!

As a show of mercy/pity/compassion my department opted to change the Highest Score prize to the Most Improved prize, and I won a garden bowling set. It was a really nice gesture.

I know in the big scheme of things my bowling game isn't going to have much consequence on anything important at all. So, know in the future, that if we're hanging out, and someone suggests going bowling that a) it won't be me, and b) I'll probably get the lowest score. As long as someone buys me an ice cream cone afterwards or lets me play Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade when we're finished, I can do it. Joel has learned that bribery still works for getting me to do things I don't want to do. That, and timing me ... but that's a different post altogether.

What I Did For the Entire Month of May

This one's for you, Beth!

Got a whole year older.

Got a haircut that took me a while to get used to.

Worked way too much.

Went to a graduation at Frederica Academy. Got sunburned.

Did a cooking demonstration about lemon curd ... like a rock star.

Developed an OCD-like fixation with creating playlists/CDs/CD covers/jewel case covers for gifts, much to Joel's dismay (remember, everything I try to do ends up being the most complicated possible).

Went to Orlando to see my roommates from college (Emily, Cristall & Molly). More on this later (for real, I promise!) but for those who want a teaser, know that I held an alligator in a Florida swamp in the middle of the night. This is how it felt:

If you're wondering what that face is, it was me trying to smile while feeling scared witless. And then they told me I had to put it back in the swamp. Didn't like that one bit:

But once I flung it back to its murky home, I reflected for a second, and felt pretty proud of myself. Molly (pictured below) had a similar experience (more pictures to come ...), and we pretended we were really tuff ... even though we all know I'm not.


Since I got back, I've avoided cooking, cleaning, laundry and ironing, worked a ton, and put together a fireside for youth on how to "Get an 'A' at Getting a Job." Two youth came.

So, that's been my month. How was yours?